Hell Yeah (Pimping T-Mobile)

I hate T-Mobile. Almost as much as I hate the Giants and the Mets. It wasn’t always this way, like every bad relationship, this one started out as nirvana and enjoyed six years of sunshine and happiness.
They offered me a free phone, and a much lower bill than I had with Verizon, so I bolted. I couldn’t have known at the time how things were going to turn out, and for a long time things were great. Why? Great customer service. Even when they are lying through their teeth like they did to me towards the end, the people who work there are just as shiny and happy and friendly as the wanna be. I like that.

The friendliness is what makes the system so easy to pimp. Under the guise of them bending over backwards to provide great customer service, you can get that $500 Blackberry for less than $200, and if you’re still under warranty, or just plain cheap-you can get one for free by following some very simple steps.

Ok, so you’ve had your phone for a while and you’re ready for a new one. T-Mo wants you to pay full price for your new fix, or will only offer you $50-$100 off to renew your contract for two years. Do what I did-call them up. Tell them all about how AT&T is handing out Bold’s for free, and you’re going to need to know who to make out your ETF check to. They’ll transfer you. Not to someone who can’t do anything, but to someone who is fully prepared to offer you that new Berry for less than what new customers pay. For an extra $50 you’ll only have to extend for a year, but considering how much less you’ll spend-it’s worth it.

Now if you just got a new phone less than six months ago, or you don’t want to extend your contract, then the method stated above is just not going to work. You’ll have to be a bit more stealthy in your ways, but you can still get a brand new phone for the low low price of free99.

Here’s how. Find something wrong with the phone-“I can’t get on the internet.” “I can’t make phone calls.” Anything that is hard to diagnose over the phone. They’ll send you another device (a “like new” refurb). Call back. Tell them you got a refurb and theres “something wrong with it”. Let them go through the troubleshooting steps, hell you have time-there is a free phone at stake here. After the third refurb comes-keep it for a month. Use it. Call them up with “something wrong” again.

They will offer you a brand new phone of comparable value to the phone you are using. For free. The last time I did this-in July of 2007-I sent back a Dash with voice strip issues and got a Blackberry 8800 (they had just put it out that May) and didn’t pay a dime for it.

Granted my Dash really was broken, but it occurred to me that you could probably pimp the system and get the same results even if your device works. And all you will need to do is send them back the phone you have. Those of you who know me KNOW how many phones I had when I was with T-Mo. What you are probably realizing now, is that I never paid for any of them, and now you can do the same.

And-as if your bill isn’t low enough (mine doubled when I switched to AT&T), if you join the Freelancers Union, you can get an additional 10% off your bill monthly. If you are out of contract when you join using their FAN#, you can also get deep discounts for devices-much better than what they are offering us regular folks.

So consider this my jilted lover post…use some of these methods to pimp the T-Mo system, and you’ll never have to pay full price again. After all-we’re in a recession damnit!

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