iChat Recap! Real Housewives of New Jersey

Don’t they just look classaay?

After what seemed like forever, the table-flippin season finale of the Real Housewives of New Jersey debuted last night and me and J’Alla, my HU homie and one of our resident foodies kiki’d ourway via ichat through it all. I thought that nothing could ever top the ghettastic antics of the Atlanta crew, but from day one the Jersey girls put a whole new spin on the word “hood”, it doesn’t get more “real” than somebody going to jail after being busted by the feds, right?

For the sake of society, we just skimmed through the entire episode minus the climax at the end, because really, their “real” lives are kind of a YAWN. Shall we begin?

Ooooh it’s coming on!! J’Alla had a MENU for the show! I kept it trill with cheddar cheese and seltzer water, my freelancer’s diet!

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Ok, so it’s the obligatory “what’s going on in my household” time…Jacqueline’s daughter gets a car for being a brat, Dina still looks like Janice from the muppets and Caroline is still doing her best impersonation of Carmella Soprano. Oh, and Teresa has a new house…or more like an estate…actually, it’s kind of an expensive catastrophe.

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This is booring…so we just decide to call out the elephant in the beauty salon.

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Ok, we’ve waited long enough and it’s time for THE DINNER.

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Of course they made Danielle enter last. But her entrance was priceless—and so was that dress.

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Teresa demonstrates what a “classy lady” she is by managing to interject sex jokes and dish about her new boobs…at the table, in front of her and other people’s kids.

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But Danielle had other plans….

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After Danielle attempts to break it down, Caroline does her BEST Carmella impersonation, because seriously, if she was as gangsta as she likes to act, Danielle’s past life wouldn’t phase her.

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Meanwhile Jacqueline is looking for the waiter…but then opens her mouth when her sister-in-laws start bullshitting and getting their stories mixed up.

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So now Teresa feels left out. There are no cameras on her and she is not having that, so after realizing that what she is saying makes less sense than her hairline, she goes apeshit—and now we have a show.

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Sidenote-the way that Teresa’s husband handled her leads me to believe that she may be prone to a “yoking up” every now and then…hmmmm.

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Wait. That’s IT? I’ve seen more interesting drama at Pathmark. But I got to wake up this morning with NeNe from the ATL wives so there is a silver-lining on this stanky cloud.

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Soooo? What did you think of last night’s finale? I hate to admit that my fam is from Jerz after watching—we may not have all the gaudy shit but at least we know how to argue with style. There is no way you can ever call the ATL wives ghetto after this!


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