An Open Letter to Any Holdouts on the Senate Judiciary Committee

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Oh, wait, you probably don’t dig that. Hello! So I was trying to stay out of this, but at the behest of my 14-year-old brother Anthony (who after watching the Judge Sotomayor confirmation hearings, insightfully pointed out—in what may be the only example of our “colorblind, post-race America” I’ve seen—that “the men were ganging up on her and being mean, but the women were supportive”), I figured I’d make a last-ditch appeal for you to stop being idiots. I mean, come on, we all know you’re going to confirm Judge Sotomayor in committee today, so why be assfaces about it?

You know she’s a great choice for the bench. I’m not going to re-list her myriad accomplishments, or remind you of the double standards that are at play with regard to referencing personal experience on the bench (Judge Alito anyone?) or even try to explain that using said experience to make decisions (judicial or otherwise) is called “growth,” not “judicial activism” and that true progress can only come with diversity. I’m just gonna say that you have one last chance to define yourselves in this situation: you can be ridiculous and continue to toil on the wrong side of history, or you can join your boy Lindsey Graham (R-SC) who has reversed his position and do this gracefully—well, at least not so clumsily. Call it whatever you want, just don’t show your tails today during the vote. Seriously.

It’s your choice. Don’t eff it up.


P.S. The same goes for the full Senate; get it together for the final vote before you go on recess. Don’t make me write about this again.

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