‘True Blood’ Recap!: Farewell, Until Season Three

Twenty minutes into “True Blood” and Maryanne was dead, which left the rest of the hour to clean up her mess and set the stage for Season three. This season brought us a maenaed, a virgin vampire, zombies, orgies, vampire terrorists, and a Yahtzee-loving vampire queen. Whew… It’s been a journey. Based on how the season ended, it looks like Sookie opened up a new can of worms (Eggs) and Bill is, well.. who knows! Let’s weigh in. Here are a few highlights and our predictions:

  • Sam shape shifting into Maryanne’s “God” was simply classic. Perfect way to plot her ending. Too bad it took until her demise before she realized that her “God” doesn’t exist. What an idiot.
  • Hilarious that Jason actually thought that he and Andy Bellefleur saved the town. And funnier when he said “I love the smell of nail polish in the morning.” Um, J, you mean napalm, the explosive? Apocalypse Now cast member you are not…
  • Lafayette telling everyone to “worship him bitches!” and prancing around in his head wrap was great. Love him!
  • Did anyone else find the scene with the Vampire Queen and Eric weird? The sexuality, though she’s a lesbian and threatening Eric? And why would she want to sell vampire blood? And who does she answer to? Is there an almighty couple of the USA, or even the entire vampire world perhaps?
  • Sookie is always causing trouble. Jason is going to confess to killing Eggs in the next season. Tara will find out that Sookie allowed him to look into his past and will never speak to her again.
  • Jessica is about to become the next virgin vampire killer (VVK), channeling Charlize Theron as Aileen Wuornos. Poor Hoyt.
  • Sam Merlotte is going to search for his parents, only to find that one is a human and the other is a German Shepherd.
  • The dancing scene between Sookie and Bill at the restaurant was hilarious. For two seconds, I thought I was watching “True Blood: The Musical.”
  • Sookie and Bill living happily ever after would have just been too easy. Now what will become of him…we’ll have to wait. I really felt sorry for him though when Sookie left him at the table to “collect her thoughts.” Next season, she will run to find him and will suddenly be stopped by lustful thoughts of Eric. Wait- why do they have to go to Vermont?

WHAT DID YOU THINK?

Steely says: I’m a nerd, which means I’m reading the actual Sookie books (don’t judge me, I’m a freelancer) and I know what’s going to happen (kinda…) even though the books are different from the show. I vote everyone read the books! It’s like the emptiness you felt after watching Harry Potter’s last installment- why wait when you can just read the book? *jumps off soapbox*

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