‘True Blood’ Recap! – ‘I’d Miss You If You Got Killed’

We liked this episode, especially Jason’s extreme stupidity. And we thought Hoyt was his bestie? How’d Andy get the role so easily? Poor Hoyt… and is it wrong that we never actually thought about Lafeyette having a mother? Guess it’s good we didn’t because her appearance is a great twist. Hopefully she’s more than a guest appearance. But as usual, that’s not all and make sure you catch the recap for “True Blood” episode one here. We can’t wait to hear your thoughts since you ladies requested a Monday morning recap.


– “Cudder — really?” says Bill to his werewolf kidnapper that’s really Wilhelmina Slater’s boyfriend Connor from “Ugly Betty.” Still handsome and shirtless this time. We approve.

– Pam as the big sister vamp to naive Jessica is cute, ’til she turns her out…

– “Don’t do that… it makes me feel strangely… human,” says Eric to Sookie as she uncovers the Nazi werewolf plot.

– “The one time I thought I was fucking happy, I was a zombie…” says Tara post suicide attempt. We told you if her mother was all she had, she was “fucked.”

– “We can fight our natures together,” Hoyt to Jessica, during the telenovela that is Hoyt and Jessica.

– “Is Bigfoot real too?… Santa?” says Jason. LOL.

– “Sooookie,” says… Sookie, imitating Bill.

– Sookie runs towards the person/werewolf that’s trying to kill her… of course.

– Terry giving Sookie the “hold/stop” fist signal like she’s in the military. LOL.

– “Ruby Jean Reynolds… please” = ALFRE WOODARD!?! And she’s Lafeyette’s mother?!? “God killed him ’cause he a faggot, but he keep coming back. This is Jesus, he’s a Mexcian, but he ain’t rape me yet.” Desperate housewives, That TNT show… Lawd please give Mrs. Woodard a steady gig. She can’t go on just playing Sanaa Lathan’s mother.

– “There’s some darkness in this family Tara, my mama, your mama,” says Lafeyette to Tara. “They aren’t strong enough to survive this bullshit Tara, but we are. We’ve been fucking fighting tooth and nail to survive this bullshit our whole life and I ain’t letting you give up now.”

– Lafeyette’s use of “I swear ‘for God.”

-Bloody lambrusco? “Carbonated blood… this one ate tangerines for weeks.” says Albert, boyfriend of the Mississppi vamp king.

– “I mean Sophie Ann no harm, in fact I intend to marry her,” says Mississippi vamp king to Bill.

– Is Jason really jealous of Andy’s “fame” for shooting Eggs? He should meet Jesse the meth head from “Breaking Bad.”

– “You’re prettier than most girls…” says Andy to Jason. OK, homo-eroticism is on overload this season.

– Yes Sam, your new brother just tried to kill you. SMH.

– “You’re going to invite me in so I can protect you, or have passionate, primal sex with you. How about both?” says Eric to Sookie. Actually, after a look at his uber long torso, we might consider skipping out on Bill. Just for one night of course…

-“Warm blood bisque, infused with rose petals”?  weCANT with the fancy food at Bill’s captors mansion!

– “I have a diploma from anger management,” says Terry to Arlene. Dude, we love Terry. He has an armadillo named Felix!

-“Quit speechifying.” says Officer Kenya to Dective Andy Belfleur. Is “speechify” a real word?

– Damn, Tara’s really angry and… nice with the hands.

– “Blood gellato” back at the captor’s mansion. We literally threw our hands up.

– Oh shoot, Lorena’s back! Shoulda killed her in Texas.


– “You honestly expect me to believe that the Queen sent one of her best vampires to Bon Temps to date a waitress?” says Miss. king to Bill. Kinda true… what shall we glean from that ladies? Bill has other intentions for Sookie? Mmhmm…

– Where’s Alcide?

– Did Bill really set her on fire or is this another hopeful dream like Sam and Bill’s steamy shower from last episode?

– Just us? Why does the show’s black family have to be so damn dysfuntional?

– Why won’t Arlene just tell Terry she’s preggers with his child?

– Do we think the werewolf was shot or drained by Eric?

SPOILER ALERT –  Don’t want to know? Stop reading:

– So was the chick in the bushes the infamous Crystal Norris? If so, LET’S GO with Jason’s next storyline!

– The werewolves WERE NOT Nazi’s in the book. How’s that supposed to work? Is this weird to anyone else?

Related “True Blood” posts: “I’m in No Mood For Lesbian Weirdness Pam”

Last 5 posts by Hillary aka Steely D

  • i for one, am using the word “hooker” to address EVERYONE FROM NOW ON. at starbucks: “hooker…i’ll have iced skinny vanilla latte please” #teamlafayette

  • Did you see the Snoop Dog rap video about Sookie at the end of the episode? Hilarious!

  • i LOVE lafayette in all his glory. who else can say bitch so…right?! now on to your questions.

    1. bill had other intentions for sookie. that’s why he has a dossier on her which the new vamp franklin found in bill’s house. i read the book so i know what his intentions were. but whatever they were, he’s in love with her now.

    2. alcide is coming in the next episode to watch sookie during the day since eric can’t, especially since a werewolf has already been stalking her and one is in her house.

    3. i wish bill had set lorena on fire but it was just wishful thinking, unless they are departing drastically from the books. that scene with bill and sam was a dream induced by bill’s blood though.

    4. while the black family seems extra dysfunctional, the other families are just as dysfunctional. arlene has had how many husbands with one being a serial killer. poor hoyt has his deceitful mother and his suicidal father. sam was sold to another family who later abandoned him. before jessica was turned, she was being abused by her father. and let’s not forget sookie and jason – they were orphaned, their uncle molested sookie, and their grandmother was murdered. lafayette and tara’s dysfunction stands out to us because, well, we’re black.

    5. arlene hasn’t told terry she’s pregnant yet for the same reason why most other women who got pregnant by a guy that they were just having fun with (read: not married to or in a LTR with). he’s a nice guy but he’s obviously still suffering from PTSD. and how many dates did they go on before they started getting buckwild under maryanne’s influence?

    6. i think sookie may have shot the werewolf but unless she had silver bullets, it wouldn’t have done real damage.

    bonus points:
    * it was crystal and i can’t wait!
    ** eric said that the pack went back further than the nazis but that they were well-funded and organized. that was just the time period that was shown.

    don’t mind me. it’s a very slow monday at work.

  • I loved when Sookie imiatated Bill saying her name! loved that. Tara is a mess, but understandable. I enjoyed seeing Alfre as well; I hope she’s around longer.

    and re: what Russell said to Bill about him being sent to Bon Temps–I wonder if it will be revealed the same as in the book…hmm. very good episode!

  • yo, did anyone else peep buddha from “i love ny” fame as one of the king of mississippi’s guards?

  • damn asha…now i have to watch it…for a 4th time. brb.

  • jamie.k

    “the buddists weren’t lyin when they said
    life is suffering, it dont mean u get to check out early and leave me here” – the wisest words lafayette has said in all 3 seasons. lol.

    ummm blood gelato ***gags***

  • jamie.k

    so the werewolves finally decide to come out n play!

    poor Hoyt, it really did play out like a telenovela, n where the heck did jessica’s dead guy go?

  • @ jamie, i think franklin took jessica’s dead guy to blackmail her into betraying bill or as a favor to get on her good side…to betray bill. she really hasn’t had any guidance so she’d be easily swayed.

  • jamie.k

    thanks asha, that didn’t occur to me, i figured he turned into a vamp is going to be running amok in the next eppy.
    i have not read the books though i have been tempted every season finale, i like how the show is unfolding, for those of u who have read the books do u think the show does them justice?