‘True Blood’ Recap!: Does Satan in a Sunday Hat Sound Familiar to You?

Hey ladies, so I’m switching it up a bit this week. The quotes seemed to be getting old, so I’m going to give you a nice recap of “I Got A Right To Sing The Blues” to chew on in short paragraph-form. Ready?

Tara as the literal runaway slave:

Tara hears from Franklin that Sookie is in the Russell palace and reaches out to her with her mind, saying we’re breaking out this bitch. Then after a night of passionate (read: bloody, where she literally bites off a piece of Frank’s neck) lovemaking, she sidesteps becoming a vampire bride by killing Franklin with a bash to his head with some medieval battle rod. Running down to Sookie’s room, the pair disable the werewolf guard and jet. However, not before Sookie declares that she’s going to save Bill. SMH. Tara says “You’re a fucking idiot” and runs out of the front door and away from Sook. We agree with Tara, and it’s clear that Sookie is no real match for Lorena, so it’ll be interesting how the writers spin Sookie’s next moves to free Bill. Let’s be honest, we know Sookie survives dude.


After trying to save Sookie from Russell’s talons, Bill ends up caught and thrown to the wolves, literally. Russell commands Lorena to kill her boo from way back and we could tell that she was actually contemplating suicide instead. No matter, she drags Bill to a warehouse where the two have the corniest ‘We were never meant to be!’ conversation ever and we swear, all we could think of were those Bing commercials. LOS LINKS!!! “Bill I am suffering NOW!” screamed Lorena like an outcast from Gone With The Wind. weCant. We fully accept the cheesiness of this show, but it doesn’t need to be thrown in our faces. Thanks.

Jason and the mysterious Crystal:

Mmhmm. Nothing’s more enticing than someone you can’t have right? Jason finally gets it in, kinda, with Crystal but is interupted by something she sniffs in the air before she scampers off. Tracking her down to her house, Crystal’s fiancee answers the door and she berates Jason and says she has no idea who he is. “The bitch says she don’t know you,” says the finaceé with crazy bruises and cuts on his face. Um, Jason, this is a sign to leave her alone, but we definitely felt for Crystal because it’s clear from the use of “bitch” and that raggedy house that she wants out.

What are you, Sookie:

Russell wants to know exactly what Sookie is after she flashed that light on her captor’s face, but she doesn’t know. He questions her by the fireplace and allows her to ask him questions too, and he shows her Bill’s Sookie Stackhouse dossier with the entire history of her ______ family. We know what she is (books nerds) but we’ll let you figure it out over the long haul. Ultimately, we’re just waiting for the Russell vs. Eric stand-off that’s coming because Russell killed Northman’s dad. Do we think he’ll kill the king post-coital? He is throwing himself at both Russell and Talbot, the latter of which is still our fave character. “You never take me anywhere!” he screamed at Russell. LOL! Also, Queen Sophie-Ann is marrying Russell eh? And they have her caged next episode? Damn son.

Lafeyette’s Satan in a Sunday hat … this season anyway:

Ay dios Mio Lafeyette’s nurse hottie Jesus is… hot.  Jesus plays hard to get after waiting through La-La’s entire work shift just to play pool and chat, then he says he won’t give it up on the first date, even if La-La does drive a fancy ride. But after the V-selling hillbillies come by seeking revenge on La-La’s car, our boy comes clean to Jesus about selling V. Why? Maybe La-La’s tired of lying. Fuck it, right? Jesus knows that home he works in is ‘spesive! Either way, Lafeyette telling Jesus about his side hustle is going to bite someone in the arse later… not sure if it’ll be Jesus or La-La directly, but we feel some foreshadowing going on.

It’s a doggy dog world:

Sam’s new family fights their son in the dog fights for money? SMH. These people are all types of faulty. Poor Tommy just wants to live and Sam is trying to save them. Won’t work Sam … it won’t work.

Your turn … Thoughts ladies (and the gents who love us)?

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