‘True Blood’ Recap!: I Can Offer You the Sun

This week’s “True Blood” episode called “Fresh Blood” continued Russell Edgington’s reign of terror, but Jesus is the one that was really scary. Ladies know, few things that fine come without a price and Lafayette did call him a “Shaman in a Sunday hat” awhile back. From V flashbacks to Tara and Sam’s reuniting, let’s get into it!

Don’t make me go back alone

Lafayette created a monster by giving Jesus some V, especially since the couple time-traveled back to see J’s grandfather who practiced the dark arts. Now, Jesus’ face is scary death mask at random times and Lala’s having flashbacks with his dolls who are asking him to “come with us.” Break up with Jesus NOW.

I drank him dead before I figured out how to do it right

The novella de Hoyt y Jessica continues. Now the couple are reunited and Jess admits that she’s a cold-blooded (literally) human eater. What’s love-struck Hoyt’s response? “Drink me.” Sounds a bit like Sookie and Bill doesn’t it? Meanwhile Hoyt’s “mama” and that annoying antique enthusiast Summer are plotting to get him back.

It’s fairies, fucking fairies, who knew!

This is where the show’s language got a bit campy. When Russell, still clutching Talbot’s bright red remains, asks Eric why he killed Talbot. Eric replies, “You loved him more than anything, he had to die.” Duh-DUN!!! Then just as Russell’s squaring up to kill him, Eric entices him with the opportunity to “day walk,” ie. walk in the sunlight without “meeting the sun” or frying up like your average vamp. Russell is intrigued and follows Eric back to Fangtasia where he’s locked up Sookie. She escaped, but not for long before Russ and E find her and drink her blood as Bill encourages them. Sookie’s obviously pissed because, yet again, the vamps have left her out of the grand plan of how to save their world. Eric walks outside to prove the sun doesn’t kill him and beckons to Russ. Not seeing that Eric is smoldering, Russ walks out beside him and Eric handcuffs them together in a suicide mission to make them meet the sun together.

ps. Eric’s romper room ringtone rocks.

You bitches do your fucking job!

I know we used to say that Tommy was out of pocket, but it’s Sam’s turn now. Morphing into a better looking version of his birth father Joe Lee, the shifter is hitting the Jack Daniels hard and cursing out everyone in his path. He calls Arlene and Holly (the wiccan) bitches, Terry a “shellshocked mu’fuker” and puts Tommy out on the streets. Then he drinks with Tara, a fellow Bon Temps resident with liquor-enhanced familial issues, and they boink in his trailer. To be fair, Tara’s still reeling from Jason’s admission that he killed Eggs and Andy essentially telling her that Eggs was suicidal. It’s rough on ol’ girl… still, does that mean that she and Sam deserve to die? Tommy is doing something with some wires beneath the trailer and what’s that remote with the green lights?

Nothing’s free

Arlene participates in Holly’s wiccan ceremony to abort Renee’s baby, complete with salt and drinking her own blood in a cup of baby-leaving “mixture.” Did anyone else think that Arlene giving herself a forest abortion when she doesn’t believe in the practice was odd? She hates vamps but is cool with wiccans? Holly tells Arlene that if the Great Mother (as is earth mother) wants to take the baby, cool, but if not there’s nothing she can do about it. Later Arlene thinks she has a miscarriage and doesn’t… then the previews show her getting held up by Renee’s spirit and Lafayette seeing it. Hm … (Break up with Jesus NOW!)

ps. Jason’s storyline with the high school kid and Crystal bore me.

pps. I hate Jason’s lamp.

ppps. Sept. 12 is going to be an awesome episode!

Your turn! Thoughts ladies (and the gents who love us)?

Last 5 posts by Hillary aka Steely D