‘True Blood’ Recap!: I Really Want You to Taste My Biscuits

So did you ladies like the paragraph format of last week’s recap, or should I go back to the quotes? You tell me. But let’s get into this week’s episode of “True Blood” called “Queen in a Cage”… for obvious reasons. From Lafeyette’s Forever 21 top to Jason being shirtless for pretty much no reason, it’s another week of campy vampy (and werewolf) drama and we’re thrilled.

What are you?

Don’t know about you, but I’m getting tired of supes asking Sookie exactly what she is … especially since I’ve read all of the books. However in the interest of not spoiling everyone’s fun, I’ll play along. Let’s count the facts: blue light from her hands, dreaming of a land that looks quite a bit like Tinker Bell and she’s got no blood type. What do you think? I am excited that Claudine her _____ (am I allowed to say what she is yet, ladies?) finally showed up too. That means the fun and possibly another cutie will arrive to strut around shirtless as well. *wink* What’s poignant about Claudine is that she and her Tinker Bell crew kick rocks when Bill arrives at Sookie’s hospital bed, but not before she asks Sook not to let Bill “steal her light.” One can only assume that means don’t let Bill turn her into a vampire … Also, the ____ world looks corny. #justsayin

Alcide kills Debbie’s fianceé (and Wilhemina’s from “Ugly Betty”)

While this was a necessary evil at the time, one can only hope that Alcide doens’t have to lose an arm or subject himself to a nasty fight to make up for killing another were. We saw what happened when Bill killed someone to save Sookie, remember? We ended up with baby vamp, Jessica. So I can only imagine what Alcide’s punishment will be, in addition that Debbie’s skinny V-head self will be “sniffing” him out.

Queen Sophie-Ann and Sookie’s cousin, Hadley

Looks like both Sookie and her cousin Hadley are all about the vamps. Hadley so much so that she’s a loyal lover of the Queen. Except, the Queen tells Hads why she’s looking into Sookie’s family history … or maybe Hads already knows because it’s her family? Either way, I’m betting she whispered exactly what Sookie is into Eric’s ear to save her own life. I’m not convinced that Eric really hates Sophie-Ann or as one commenter said is plotting with Sophie-Ann to off this dude at a later date as revenge for his own Nordic father’s death. You tell me. But I find it hard to believe that Eric hasn’t thought this whole allegiance switch further than the Queen and the King getting married. Also, looks like Hadley going to break out to tell Sookie not to trust Bill … should be interesting.

The Merlotte’s to the Micken’s: From Bad to Worse

Initally I didn’t much care for Sam’s family plot line, but his birth parents are the worst. Really? You’re dog fighting your own son when he could get his neck snapped and die? On a regular basis? SMH. However, while Sam saving Tommy by impersonating a pitbull with huge balls was heroic, I can’t see this ending well. Kinda like Crystal and Jason …

The Mystery of Hotshot’s “Beauty” Crystal

Jason is hilarious when he says “I never thought I was smart enough to get depressed.” However, there’s so much foreshadowing with this Crystal chick, that it’s obvious that she’s bad news. However, Jason’s going to walk right into it.

Survival of the Fittest

King Russell is crazy for killing the Magistrate. Like Alcide before him, there are ancient laws about murdering your own kind in the supernatural world and if the get back is good enough, all Eric might have to do is sell him out to the “authorities”? We shall see …

Your turn! Thoughts ladies (and the gents who love us)?

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