Mahogs In London: Finding Peace… Alone

**Note: This is the first post (of many) from our partner, Sherry Bitting, as she has left the streets of NYC to discover life across the pond in London. We miss her dearly and hopes she is sending us Cadburies and Harrod’s tea for Christmas!**

Earlier this year I made the decision to take a break from a life that I perfectly designed for myself to discover something new.  I was bored. Blessed–but unhappy. Unfulfilled. But most of all curious. Curious as to what else life had to offer outside of work, my apartment, partying and the same everyday routine. Suddenly I found peace just being alone, and I was focused.  I had a greater plan.  What that plan would yield in the end, I was not 100 percent sure, but for the first time in my life, I was okay with not having it all figured it out.  And in the midst of all of that, I had no desire to get involved with the complicated ups and downs that come with being in a relationship. With my new “plan,” I appreciated the simplicity of being alone and doing me more than devoting my time and energy into someone else.

Well, months later and here I am. In London.. in my new flat, overlooking the rain falling before the streetlights in front of my building, loving the fact that I put my comfortable life on hold to start something new.  I came here to go back to school and get a little travel in in between. Feeling nice. Independent. Free…and Lonely. Damn. That wasn’t the plan.

What happened to that peace that I found in my solitude earlier this year?  Suddenly I crave an evening visitor. A foot rub. A little companion. Nothing serious–just… company.  But I resist. Because after all, that’s not why I came.  No need for distractions.  There is something to be said about spending time alone and channeling my focus on something else. Yesterday a male friend felt free to tell me that “in no time, you’ll meet a man out here who will help to make your time that much sweeter.”  But you know–that’s not what I’m looking for. Why is it that a man is often considered the instant solution? Feeling bored? Find a man.  Running low on money?  Find a man. Want someone to talk to? Find a man.

Before I left, I cannot tell you how many people told me, “You’re not coming back. You’ll meet some British guy who will sweep you off your feet and we’ll never see you again.”  Well this isn’t Hollywood and I’m not Julia Roberts.  My search for Prince Charming ended in New York and it’s certainly not continuing in London.  For once, I’d like to just enjoy me. Learning me. Appreciating me. But why can’t I brush this feeling?   Let’s see how long this lasts…

Stay focused, Sherry. Stay focused….


Last 5 posts by Sherry J. Bitting