Parlour’s Best of the Worst Hip-Hop & R&B Videos of 2010

It’s back! For the past two years we have combed the Internets (RIP ONSMASH!), suffering terrible visual assaults on our vision and ears, to bring you the best of the worst hip-hop and R&B videos of 2010. True, we could close the year with the traditional “Best Of” list, but then you can read that anywhere. Besides, being 100% independent has it’s privileges. It hurts us more than it hurts you, really. First up? Why hello Ms. Nick Minaj… (jump to list)

Nicki Minaj | Massive Attack | Directed by Hype Williams

Yup, nine months later and we still hate this video, especially for her first solo video. Frankly, nothing in this video makes sense—from Sean Garrett’s eternal nakedness, to the scary-eyed dance-hall boys to pink Lamborghini to the general randomness known as Amber Rose. Actually, I probably shouldn’t have been surprised seeing that the clip starts with Baby from Ca$h Money making an appearance. Can YOU think of an awesome video that Baby has ever been in? PS. I will let that belt wardrobe malfunction at 02:52 slide, that’s happened to us once or twice on the dance floor as well. – SW

Rick Ross | I’m Not A Star | Directed by SpiffTV

Damn you Rick! After having (arguably) one of the hottest mixtapes and albums of 2010, the first video manages to look like a bad piece of stock-photography used for “urban” advertising. Flashing lights, stacks, of money, donk, girls, ‘cycles, more girls, red carpet, belly, tattoos: GIANT YAWN. It’s not that the track is entirely prolific, but I’ve seen better from Rozay in the past so this one just threw us all for a loop. I blame Baby. Yup, he’s in this one too. – SW

Dr. Dre | Kush | Directed by Joseph Kahn

We’ve waited over TEN YEARS for something—ANYTHING!—let alone a new video from Dr. Dre and this is what we get? A twist on T-Pain’s “Rap Song” clip that came out literally 14 days before? It’s “The Next Episode” but without anything exciting. I know we must respect our elders but dammit, I expect more from Andre Young. *sings “smoke weed everyday” and watches this instead* – HC

Ciara | Gimme Dat | Directed by Melina Matsoukas

I hate this video, from the “fly” stuffed animal belt, to her just … doing too much. Eight Cici’s all poppin’ their thangs at the same time? Ack. It just all makes me wish Ciara was still in the “Like A Boy” phase and wonder what happen. Can we really blame her downturn on dating 50 Cent? At least say you’re in a relationship publicly and make it all worth it. Word to Chelsea Handler. – HC

Kelis | Scream | Directed by Rankin

While some of our readers thought that Kelis’ clip for “Brave” was a giant yawn—I’m pretty convinced that this was the worst video for one of the best tracks on her album. From the strange greased-up “running man” scenes to her being chained and in black-light 3D, the clip screams more art-school graduate ‘let’s make a video and see how it works out’ than anything. No wonder it was released overseas first. Bring back the “Acapella” fireworks and glitter!?! Glitter dammit! – SW

Vado | Speaking in Tungs | Directed by Antwan “Shake” Smith

So what do you get when you blend “Rumpshaker,” “Thong Song,” “Fiesta” and add about $2500 and a few comp bottles of Ciroc? This video. I know I shouldn’t expect much but Vado, for your first video after being the hottest thing out of Harlem, can we do any better? And can someone explain to me why he has on a cardigan in hot-ass Miami and then a letterman jacket on in the club? And is that a fake Amber Rose? Sigh. Actually, I do expect too much and this is my shame. Cam’ron saves it with his dead-on DMX impersonation, but yeah. This is bad. *hangs head low* – SW

Drake | Find Your Love | Directed by Anthony Mandler

Drake and his magic hands dropped this video as a warm-up to releasing his debut Thank Me Later over the summer and we all brandished a collective *blank stare* after watching. It’s not so much that it’s bad as it is just entirely unbelievable (cue Mavado’s bedazzled American flag shirt at 4:41. Really?). First, Drake is walking through the ghettos of Kingston … alone while pining over a girl that “belongs” to the toughest gangster in the city, then he gets with her without any discretion—and he keeps doing it because he has to “find her love” only to end up double-crossed in the end? Where is Baby??? The probability of this is laughable at best … and now my head hurts.  – SW

Rihanna | Rude Boy | Directed by Melina Matsoukas

From the bad dancing, to the obvious bite off of M.I.A., Rihanna’s eighties-flavored dance-hall clip inspired a giant YAWN from many of us, especially since we liked—no, scratch that. Loved—the single. The clip’s one save is the Keith Haring style set-up but even with that nod to pop art, it’s a little painful to watch Rihanna wine up for more than three minutes. On the flip-side, it did inspire Diplo to make this awesome mash-up.  – SW

Keri Hilson | The Way You Love Me | Directed by Laurie Ann Gibson

She had us with “Pretty Girl Rock” and then it went all bad acting/crotchy-downhill from there and I blame Laurie Ann. But don’t take my word for it, see what my girls Chloe and Hills had to say.  – SW

N-Dubz | Say It’s Over

We blame the UK for this foolishness. LA Reid, really???

Wiz Khalifa | Never Been | Directed by Bill Paladino

Bad. Acting. Dot. Com. I love me some Wiz Khalifa— just peep the oodles of Jabril posts here on Parlour or the sign in front of my on MTV’s “Hottest MCs In The Game” show—but this video doesn’t make sense. Wants her “out here” giving the stripper with the bad wig? Who are the dudes running up the stairs? To rough up Wiz? The Stripper? Because he’s hogging her pole time? #confused Not to mention, Wiz’s stiff walk and terrible script delivery in the beginning of this clip are kindly described as laughable, but it’s ok. He’s got plenty of time (and Atlantic’s money) to practice.

Rihanna | Te Amo | Directed by (a man probably)

In short, lesbian fantasy swill. If only for the first 40 seconds, this clip should be fired. I will never get those precious moments back. While the scenery is gorgeous—the castle, the amazing furry fashion, the naughty lingerie—are we still pumping out that last dregs of the male-dominated fantasy of women rubbing on one another? Not saying this clip would’ve been better served with a Meshell Ndegeocello redux but a little creativity can go along way. – HC

We know there is more, but combing through hours and hours of bad videos is really ruining our holiday mood. Have more to add? Hit us up in the comments below and we will throw them up!

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