‘True Blood’ Recap!: I Wish I Was The Moon

It was a full moon on “True Blood” episode “I Wish I Was The Moon” and you know what that means — every weird creature was out and about. From Tommy morphing into Sam and Tara’s angry sex scene on the floor that ended up hotter than Sookie and Eric, let’s get into it!

Antonia … you whore.

Marni is terrified while she’s a prisoner of King Bill so she decides to make a blood sacrifice and ask Antonia, the necromancer, to fill her body. Antonia obliges and it’s on. First order of business, Marni/Antonia yokes up the vamp-priest-Bill follower who raped her during the Spanish Inquisition and it looks like she wipes his memory then walks out of her cell.

He was just sitting on the lawn … playing with that old ugly doll. 

Um, Baby Mikey is evil … or he’s got evil attached to him. I’m thinking it’s the latter. As Arlene and Terry sleep and Mikey’s in his crib, their entire house goes up in flames. Terry pushes Arlene out of the house and promises to get Baby Mikey but just as he moves, the house explodes. Turns out Baby Mikey beat everyone out anyway and was playing on the lawn across the street when his older sister and brother found him. Arlene picks up Baby Mikey relieved only to have him smile and wave at a black female ghost that, as someone said on Twitter, looks like an extra from the Viola Davis-led The Help. I loved when Holly said “My boys were with their father, thank goddess.” She is wiccan down, honey.

Goat tongue for breakfast?

Lala, dressed as the omitted member of Kriss Kross, and Jesus reach the later’s Brujo Grandfather’s house in Mexico. But Grandad’s not so welcoming, actually he’s pissed at Jesus for ditching him and their spiritual relationship. Now Jesus needs his help to ward off vamps but Gramps says he “doesn’t know what he needs” and promptly sets the snake, which Jesus brought as a sacrifice, to bite his neck. When Lala tries to help, he’s possessed by the spirit of Tio Luca and started speaking in tongues, Spanish tongues. We’ve gotta get out of here, dude.

What do you think that means? Change my kitty litter?

Jason thinks he’s going to change into a werepanther on the full moon but according to Alcide and Debbie, who are wearing leather in the summer while Sookie’s in hot pants, that’s not possible if you are not born into your … animalness. Interesting, because that’s different than the book, where Jason does become a half-werepanther. Instead of turning, Jason has an awkward meeting with Jessica where it looks like the two of them will try to sleep together and further break Hoyt’s heart. Meanwhile, when Sookie can’t find Jason, she ends up finding Eric who was released by Bill even though he was sentenced to the true death. Seems Bill realized that Eric really was wiped as clean as a hard drive when he said “Please tell Sookie I went to my true death knowing how to love, tell her thank you. I hope you two find your way back to each other … she deserves happiness with whomever can give it to her.” That doesn’t sound like the Eric we know and love … then Sookie and Eric proceed to have the most boring sex scene in life … and death, apparently. Boo. Elsewhere, Tara fights with Pam and makes up with her Nawlins girlfriend.

I don’t know why everyone treats you so special!

Tommy morphs into Sam by accident because, now that he’s killed his parents, he’s a skin walker! I knew it! The real Sam asked Tommy to open the bar and Tommy/Sam fires Sookie and sleeps with Luna right before kicking her out of his trailer, morphing back into Tommy, barfing and passing out.


Where did Baby Mikey’s doll come from? Wasn’t that the same doll from Jess and Hoyt’s that kept poppin up?

Why couldn’t Luna smell that Tommy wasn’t Sam? Skin Walkers can’t sniff each other out? What’s the point of being a shifter?

If Marni/Antonia starts reminding you of Antonia, why go downstairs and look her in the eye? No, really?

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