He stopped the jet ski and asked if I wanted a real island rum punch. His selling point was that he could get them from his friends on the beach. My friends knew I was with him so, I agreed to having a rum punch. I’m a lightweight and also very astute, so my plan was to wait until I got back with my friends to sip on mine.
Mr. Rapey let the jet ski coast and told me that I could joy ride around (by this point, I successfully tried my hand at actually driving the thing), or just coast as he headed to shore. I decided to go for a swim. Eventually, I ended up close to the shore and walked into the ocean up to my waist, then Mr. Rapey returned a few minutes later with no rum punches. He swam toward me, grabbed my hand, smiled and said, “Turn around.” That’s when the record scratched.
Appalled, I replied, “NO,” scrunched up stank face included.
“Why not,” he asked.
“Let’s go,” I said and swam back to the jet ski, preparing to leave him or fight if I had too.
“You’re just so sweet,” he said swimming close behind me. “I want to make you my girlfriend before you leave.”
“I’m married, dude.”
It was blunt and firm but he still searched for an in, despite my obvious extreme aversion.
Noooo, I’m totally making this up because that’s what women do when we want to play. Fuck that! Even if I were single I said ‘No!’ got dammit! I’m irritated just thinking about his sense of entitlement and the fact that I’m keeping my indignant thoughts to myself out of fear that he might try to retaliate in the middle of the sea. Am I really doing this too familiar ‘what your man got to do with me’ song and dance with this shady ass stranger trying to negotiate his way into my panties? Yes. But all I did was be nice! So, doesn’t matter. Sigh.
“Yes. I’m happily married to a flesh and blood man who is good to me and that I love dearly,” I said, trying to sound as even as possible.
Last 5 posts by Parlour
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