Let’s face it: some things just… “happen” while on vacation. And there’s no shame in the game about it. We asked our Parlour readers to share some of their deepest, darkest travel secrets, and in turn, we’re sharing them with you! Think you’re the only one that has had a crazy bathroom mishap or hooked up on vacation? These stories take the cake from the naughtiest to the craziest:
“While in China visiting manufactures factories I needed to use the bathroom. I was lead to an employee’s living quarters (I know right). My cycle was on and very heavy so I had to change. I did what I needed, and then bundled it up and put in a plastic bag on the door. While in a meeting that employee came in and whispered something to another employee and looked at me. I overheard him say, “So I don’t think that was the trash.” I was completely mortified.” – Latoya*
“When I was in college, in spring break in Panama City, FL, I met a guy at a club (he looked like a less-cute version of a guy I liked back home). I eventually met up with him later that night and went back to his hotel. The sex was awful (duh, its a one night stand). He kept saying dirty words to me, I assume to make himself sound sexy. It was a mess. I left promptly after.” – Sheila*
“I was once at a really nice restaurant while on vacation. I was trying to pee by squatting on the toilet and lost my balance. I got pee all over my jeans. I was trying to dry off under the hand dryer when the bathroom attendants return and immediately start helping me. I try to stop them from patting me dry but they were so fast. Then one of them sniffed and broke out in laughter. I literally had pee all over myself. Talk about embarrassing.” – Antoinette*
“This year I had a fantasy of having hot sex with stranger on one of my adventures. Sounds like a Zane novel right? I wasn’t particularly looking for anyone but if the energy was there I was actually going to act on it. While in Mexico, the scene was set with sand, bikinis and sunsets. I met a guy. We smiled, fluttered, and exchanged numbers. I sent a message that I wish we had spent more time together. He instantly responded with his hotel and room number. I showed up and the energy was electric. We had great (protected) sex. I took a shower, promised to keep in touch and walked out the door. But truthfully, it was one and done. I just wanted to live the fantasy.” – Bridget*
“As a teen I toured 3 countries in West Africa. I didn’t know what a bidet was. We all thought it was a convenient extra sink. We wash are hands and faces in it, even brushed our teeth.” – Bianca
*Name changed to protect the innocent (or in this case, the guilty).
Ready to make your (anonymous) confession? Hit us up at firstname.lastname@example.org for the next round! We will never reveal your identity.